CV – Comedy Value
11th April 2016
I see hundreds of CVs every week. People from all walks of life, with various experience levels. Some people are entering the job market for the first time, some have decades of experience but all of them have 1 thing in common. They’re interested in the vacancy I’m recruiting for.
Now I know that for some people, writing a CV is something to take time over, to check and double check. Make sure it flows and check for spelling & grammar. But sometimes you get the odd CV that you can’t be sure if it’s serious or not.
Have a look at some of my favourite CV mistakes…
• KEY ACHIEVEMENTS – Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year
• COVER LETTER – Please disregard the attached CV; it’s totally outdated.
• COVER LETTER – I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.
• KEY SKILLS – Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.
• DUTIES INCLUDED – Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer emails, take odors’
• CAREER BACKGROUND – 28 dog years of work experience in HR (4 human)
• NOTICE PERIOD – Minimum two (1) months
Here are a few key points to remember when writing your CV.
1. Read it, read it again and then get someone else to read it.
2. What’s your email address? You don’t have to use the one you’ve had since school if it doesn’t represent you in the way you want. 10-pint-tommy@ or lazy247@ probably aren’t the best email addresses to have on your CV! Take a few minutes to set up something more career ready.
3. Finally, don’t think that Spell Checker on your computer will solve all of your problems. Have a read below to see why…
……..Wed to Spill Checker
I half a spill checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue,
Miss Steaks eye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme,
It helps me right awl styles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posted up on my screen,
Eye trussed too be a joule.
The checker poured o’er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Be fore a veiling checkers,
Hours spelling mite decline.
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We would be maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling,
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye a wear.